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I don’t know what he could possibly see in them, I don’t understand myself this undercurrent of anxiety and even worry I feel just below the surface. I can’t explain it. Jens has been so wonderful to me during the horrible events of this past week. So strong and comforting, such a rock and a support. In some ways I don’t think I’ve ever felt closer to him than I do now. And yet at the same time, I haven’t felt like making love since all of this has happened and I feel a guilt over that lack of desire. It’s actually not a lack of desire, the desire I feel for him is somehow always there, but I guess the physical desire has taken a back seat recently to other, more powerful, desires I have for him. ‘Come on’ he urges as he takes my hand in his and leads me back to our bed. It’s strange, I think to myself, as I allow myself to be led by him. I’m staring at his broad, naked back and I can see the strong lines of the muscles in his shoulders, the straight line of his spine, down to hips. Particularly the outdoor nude running scenes, where my bouncing breasts are a bit much! It's one thing doing discrete semi-nude scenes with men or women, as I'd done in "Emmanuelle", but another doing them completely naked with little boys & a big film crew & a few local villagers watching, & I do regret doing the film now a little, as I was very embarrassed at having little boys see my front bits & breasts, etc., uncovered & in some takes I had to get a little too close to Maxime when naked for my comfort, but at least the boys got a good female anatomy lesson maybe.Despite my tension at being naked for such long periods of time, there were some moments of laughter. I remember doing one scene with little Maxime where I had to run up right next to him while he was trying to get a key for a door, but he wasn't tall enough to reach it. I ran up on the first take & stretched up for the key & accidentally my nipple poked him in the eye! We all fell around laughing & had to re-shoot that.
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